Happy Birthday, Groucho! (Two oxen in every garage!)
Today is Groucho Marx’s birthday. Groucho is one of my all time favorite comedians. I love how he can be crass and suggestive without being the least bit dirty. And Duck Soup is one of the finest films ever shot.
I was reading some essays written by Groucho while I was living at New Vrndavana in 1995ish. I came across one entitled “What This Country Needs.” It was written around 1940 when everyone was talking about World War II and the presidential election (Wilkie vs. FDR). Outlined were Groucho’s ideas on how to make this country great! Of course, most of them are very out-dated, it being 1940 and all.
But at least one point still stands true, maybe even truer today:
Two Oxen in Every Garage!
We need two oxen in every garage. There! I’ve said it. Not that I don’t realize it will mean a political break with the automobile industry (I need any kind of break I can get), but because I wouldn’t worth of a Vice-Presidential boom if I didn’t have the courage of my convictions, both of which were for parking forty minutes in half-hour zones.
That’s the problem: parking. With oxcarts, our great-grandfathers had nothing to worry about. Although it took them an hour to drive six miles to the downtown shopping district, they could immediately pull up in front of any store they chose. And, while we can drive the same distance in ten minutes, it takes an hour to find a place to park. That gives the ox a clear ten-minute advantage over the automobile.
Of course I realize that no ox is as good-looking as one of the 1940 sport models (the yellow, snappy job): also that it might be a little inconvenient trying to buy hay at a filling station. But we cannot overlook the fact that ten minutes saved every day amounts to 3,650 minutes a year, or sixty hours and fifty minutes. And that time, properly used – say on the radio by Carlie McCarthy – is worth approximately $250,000. And while $250,000 ain’t hay, it would feed a lot of oxen.
When I came across this at New Vrndavana, a lot of devotees were really trying to make the horse cart idea work (though I think they were going to do it using a bull). They even made tshirts! Which is much farther than most plans at New Vrndavana got. The tshirts were of a drawing that Srila Prabhupada did while at New Vrndavana:
Pretty cool, huh?
And speaking of drawings, as soon as I read this bit by Groucho, I copied it and put it on NV’s bulletin board. The next day, some cheeky brahmacari drew a GREAT cartoon face of Groucho smoking his cigar, saying “HARIBOL, Bhakta Eric!” It was great. Totally made my day.
So, happy birthday, Groucho! All glories to your “two oxen in every garage”!
