Me, the 21st Century Suburban Man
We were standing in her kitchen when she offered me the choice of “teaspoon or tablespoon” with which to eat my chili. I really wanted a fork, but since it was not offered, I let her decide which spoon to give. I’ve never eaten chili with a spoon.
“They don’t really use forks in temples,” she said several days later. She was laughing at my near disdain of spoons.
“What do you mean they don’t use forks? I’ve been to festivals and feasts and lived in the ashram, we use forks,” I countered, not really sure if any of that was true. But it had to be true. I would have noticed if I hadn’t used forks, right?
But she said, “I’ve never seen forks at any temple or any festival.”
“Columbus had them. I remember that.” I wasn’t sure if it was a memory or if I was now injecting my own interpretation of truth onto the past.
“Well, maybe Columbus.” She conceded. But I still wasn’t sure. “When I first joined up, I was told that we didn’t use forks because forks were for stabbing meat.”
I wasn’t told anything of the sort when I first joined up. “I joined in Philly and we had forks. Or… at least, I don’t remember missing them.” I wasn’t sure now.
“Yeah, but Philly was always the cushy temple. They had everything.” At this point, she was chuckling over my ideas of austerity. She served three years in Vrndavana, India eating with her hands off leaves sewn together. Philly was Club Med to that.
“Hey now, we didn’t have hot water in the ashram in Philly…. What do you mean, we can’t have forks? I’ve seen forks all over the place!”
But then it occurred to me that I hadn’t. Somehow, I had never noticed that at festivals, we never handed out forks. I remember thinking that all the temples were too cheap to buy forks. I found it nearly impossible that I had missed this regulation. We have many, but wouldn’t this one stick out?
“Nobody ever told me about this!” We were both laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. “Nobody ever took the opportunity to yell at me about using my fork. It’s not like devotee to pass up such a thing.”
“Oh Eric, you are so suburban.” She was practically choking on fits of giggles. We both were. But she meant it and was probably right. I am suburban. I never lived in a temple for very long. I have never been to India. She knows austerity and talked about trying to eat spaghetti with her fingers and ice cream without a spoon. I’ve always had it pretty good, what with the forks and all.
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Curiosity gathered the best of me and finally, I looked it up. Was it really forbidden in Vaisnava etiquette to use forks?
No. Of course it isn’t. It’s a cultural thing. In India, forks are rarely needed. Most things can be eaten with a spoon or even a piece of bread used as a small shovel. Srila Prabhupada would joke about his godbrother, Bon Maharaja and how he wore a suit and could eat with a knife and fork. Prabhupada never did. Again, cultural.
He did, however, understand that westerners, though perhaps not devotees, commonly used forks, suggesting that the Mayor of Evanston be given a fork with which to something (July 4, 1975). It was mentioned as a courtesy in passing.
Generally, it seems, forks are not used. Probably not needed. It seems to be a cultural thing. I am fairly certain that my use of a fork to eat chili will not be a factor in determining my going back to Godhead.
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Has anyone more information on this?
