Ho Ho Ho and where is The Hing and get out of my head!
It was easy to write for The Hing when I didn’t have all that much else to do. I started it as I was wrapping up the sale of my store. Then, when I was staying at New Vrndavana, the ideas and articles pretty much wrote themselves. I even had enough articles to cover the months when I was traveling around the country. When I returned to Pennsylvania, again, the articles came to me very easily.
But since moving to Seattle, life has been turned upsidedown. It’s a good thing in a lot of ways. I’m really really enjoying this place. But getting to a know a new city (and new coast) isn’t exactly conducive to writing.
I’ve had a few submissions and a few good ones that I’ll eventually use. But my own ideas have been few and far between. Something on the guru school would be nice, maybe on the TVP (because if you name something TVP, it deserves a good ripping), or perhaps something on the ISKCON constitution (though, you know, oh my god … boring!).
Then a couple of days ago, I started to work on a holidays “fluff” piece about a temple that got really into the Christmas spirit. The hook was going to be that they dressed their deities as Santa and Mrs. Claus.
I had some details worked out, a bit of a story line floating around in my head. And then I was sent this…
These aren't just Christmas outfits. These are full on Santa suits. The only thing missing is the beard (and, quite honestly, I'm disappointed that the cheesy, stick-on beard isn't there...).
One of the fun things about writing satire is that you often walk the thin line between fiction and reality. For instance, look how many devotees believed that a fallen ISKCON guru used his mad guru skillz to become a very nice used car salesman. I still get emails asking for more information about Ex-ISKCON guru, John O’Brien. While it’s a fiction piece, it’s close enough to our reality to make us think it’s possible, even probable (because it is).
But sometimes, and with increasing regularity, I’m seeing things in reality that should only happen in satire. What could and should be The Hing’s pages are springing to life all around ISKCON!
This makes it very difficult to write.
So simmer down, ISKCON! Get back to being just plain old weird. These ventures into the realm of “creepy,” “really creepy” and “ew, back off please” are my territory! You are stealing my stories and ideas. Stop that.
ISKCON, get out of my head!
Related posts:
12/10/2008 at 1:30 pm
hahhahahhah!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God, I just noticed that He’s wearing a hat!!! That’s too funny.
Hey, I just thought of a funny hing article. An iskcon temple that offers thread ceremonies if your born in the right family… Oh, wait, never mind.
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12/13/2008 at 11:57 am
is this for real??? Sri Sri Radha Symasundara are NOT really wearing mr and mrs. clause outfits!!???!!! no way, uh uh, not believing it… funny as all get out tho i must say, but comeon!!! Has ISKCON really stooped to an all time low??? talk about mixing rasa, Gopis, Gopas, Vrndavan and now elves and the north pole, really, what are we saying here…??? mythological association please… jeez…
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12/13/2008 at 12:46 pm
Have you seen Krsna in a kilt? Or Radharani in a kimono? Chopsticks in her hair and all.
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12/13/2008 at 1:50 pm
Oh it’s for real. Nobody Photoshopped them into silliness.
I don’t know if I’d blame the whole of ISKCON for this, of course. It’s probably just some cheese-tastic temple. I’m sure many in ISKCON would cringe.
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12/13/2008 at 1:51 pm
I remember Radha-Natabhara’s kilt. I sort of liked it. It was jaunty. I’m not totally against stuff like this. But they have to not be costumes.
Thank god this temple doesn’t celebrate Halloween.
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12/13/2008 at 3:43 pm
Not that we know of, anyway.
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12/14/2008 at 7:29 am
Can anyone translate?
http://www.iskconslovenija.net/2008/12/11/tingl-tingl-hare-krisna-bozicek/
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12/14/2008 at 8:45 am
That looks like a really interesting site. I hope there is a way to get English translations for it.
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12/14/2008 at 4:34 pm
Isn’t that Vrndavana? If so, that makes it even worse. I don’t have a problem with kimonos so much; they’re CLOTHES, for cryin’ out loud, not costumes of mythical (and heavily commercialized) characters.
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12/14/2008 at 4:58 pm
For some reason, Rati thinks it’s Hungary. I’m apt to believe her and hope to chalk it up to that cheeseball eastern European thing.
*crosses fingers*
I mean, maybe in Hungarian culture, Santa Claus isn’t as big of a thing. Maybe it’s just a symbol for the Christmas season.
When I get my gaura nitai deities, I’m SO dressing them up like Davey Crockett… or Crockett and Tubbs! Totally.
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12/14/2008 at 9:46 pm
http://www.tranexp.com:2000/InterTran?type=url&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iskconslovenija.net%2F2008%2F12%2F11%2Ftingl-tingl-hare-krisna-bozicek%2F&text=&from=slo&to=eng
that hardly helps.
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12/14/2008 at 10:01 pm
My favorite is: “Vagina, there is satellite”
weird.
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12/15/2008 at 6:59 am
Bizarre… I would really love to know what that guy is actually trying to convey. It seems at one point he’s saying “what’s wrong with dressing Them like this, in a cold climate?”
You know what else is really funny, click on the links to Hrishikesh’s site, and read the descriptions. One of my favourites is the “goddess of war tower”
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12/15/2008 at 7:52 am
Yeah, the translation is crap, really. hehe. I get why he’s comparing it with NV though (of course)… but I don’t get what he’s saying.. what with all those vagina satellites and war towers.. um..
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12/15/2008 at 3:30 pm
You NEED (need with a capital please) to put Tom Servo to work and do some MST3K/ITV videos for the Hing!!! I can only imagine how amazing.
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12/15/2008 at 3:33 pm
Oh believe me, I’ve thought about doing this a billion times. I’m sure I could even pull it off without being too ridiculously offended. But anything with subtitles is out.
However… that DOES leave New Vrndavan’s version of the Ramayana…
Could be fun…
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12/16/2008 at 7:05 am
Wait, what? New Vrindavana’s Ramayana is one of the greatest cinematic achievements ever. heehee!
But seriously, some commentary would be great!
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12/16/2008 at 7:34 am
This is a really tempting thing to do. I must think more on this.
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12/16/2008 at 12:03 pm
I’ve never had the glory of seeing it and I think the first time should include the back you and Tom Servo’s heads!!
Is it digital anywhere?
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12/16/2008 at 12:11 pm
Well, I know for a fact that I’m not set up to do green screen stuff (which would get my head and servo’s onto the screen as shadows), but I *can* do commentary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83obHT73hLo
Ok.. who has the Ramayana DVD? I’m up for the challenge…
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07/26/2009 at 12:04 pm
I can’t believe that back in my olde brahmacari book distribution days, in the mid-1970′s, in the Philly temple, I actually doned a Santa Claus suit, and went out tricking kids into giving me money, by selling them candy canes. I still feel embarrased to this day that I did it without remorse at the time, and even believed I was doing something right and spiritual. Of course, the alternative was they would shave off your sika and kick you out into the street. I was penniless and had no where to go. I couldn’t figure out how to break out of that prison. I have been working my ass off all my life so I don’t end up there again.
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08/27/2009 at 9:36 pm
It’s ISKCON Slovenia – definitely Eastern Europe.
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09/23/2009 at 11:15 am
well, yes – like it says – its iskcon slovenia. and slovenia is an european country.
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12/10/2009 at 1:20 pm
Radha-Krsna in Santa suits!!! Even a little snowman!!! What about the Muslim holidays? Krsna with bomb and Radha in berka? During Yom Kippur, Krsna’s with curly, long sideburns? And the Buddhist and American Indian holidays… Visnu with tomahawk, bow, peace pipe, and tom-tom? Go lightly on the warpaint, please, we want to keep things “parampara.”
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